BDSM was introduced rather late in my marriage. We had been married for ten years and known each other for twenty years when I one day told her about my long lasting fantasies about sex in another way. Sex inspired by Fetish outfit and physical SM-activities.
We began experimenting and it turned out that we both enjoyed bondage sessions with me as the dominant top. My wife also revealed some masochistic tendencies as she fancied moderate pain such as the pain from hot wax and moderate strength whipping.
The cane on the other hand was never something she appreciated which was a shame, because I really enjoy every aspect of the cane – seen from the sadist perspective.
During correspondence with masochist girls that I had met on dating sites, I realised that most, if not all of them, had since their adolescence had fantasies about being dominated, humiliated or whipped.
I approached my wife about this in various ways. I asked her directly, I asked her to describe fantasies in writing, I asked her about related issues that might reveal her early and secret fantasies.
In the end I came to the conclusion that she had none. She had never had any fantasies about being dominated, humiliated or being beaten.
In our plays I often felt a restriction – very much coming from my self. I did not like to take it beyond a certain point because I felt that it was past her limits. Limits that she did not like to admit because it would reveal a mismatch in our relationship.
Finally I ended up spending much time wondering how it would be to play with a “true” masochist. A woman who had had such dreams since adolescence.
We know another couple where he is dom and she is sub. We meet four or five times every year for playing. The woman (we can call her Jane) once told us how she had masochistic fantasies as a young woman. It was in the days without internet and she used the dating columns in the ordinary newspapers to contact sadists. She did meet an older guy, but it did not lead to a partnership.
I was very intrigued by this story and I began fantasising about being with this woman. That is I knew her pretty well and I had often flogged her and fucked her but always with her husband and my wife present.
No, I was fantasising about having her to play with alone. I wanted to feel exactly how it would be dominating a woman whom I knew always had had fantasies about domination.
All good things come to those who waits!
This winter I got the opportunity. Her husband who is a good friend of mine offered me to borrow his wife for a session.
I gladly accepted the offer and the experience represent an important turning point for me.
I will describe the session in the followings posts.
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